Holiday Fruit Cake
You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large brown
eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar,
lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.
Sample the whiskey and check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric
mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of
sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the
mixer. Beat too leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice
and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat
off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again
and go to bed.
Accelerated Technologies, Inc. (ATI)
12919 Dessau Road
Austin, Texas 78754
Tel# 512-990-7199 ext# 106
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