TRUTH !!

From: Ron Doyle (rondoyle@sympatico.ca)
Date: Thu Feb 03 2000 - 22:21:22 EET


>
> > The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads:
> >
> > FIRST THE ADS FROM WOMEN
> >
> > 40-ish.................. 48
> > Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
> > Athletic................ Flat-chested
> > Average looking......... Ugly
> > Beautiful............... Pathological liar
> > Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin
> > Educated................ College dropout
> > Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
> > Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
> > Free spirit............. Substance user
> > Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut
> > Fun..................... Annoying
> > Gentle.................. Comatose
> > Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic
> > New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
> > Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only
> > Open-minded............. Desperate
> > Outgoing................ Loud
> > Passionate.............. Loud
> > Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic
> > Professional............ Real Witch
> > Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
> > Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
> > Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
> > Voluptuous.............. Very Fat
> > Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat
> > Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
> > Widow................... Nagged first husband to death
> > Young at heart.......... Toothless crone
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST
> >
> > 40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
> > Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
> > Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
> > Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot
> > Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister
> > Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity
> > Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack
> > Good looking............ Arrogant
> > Honest.................. Pathological Liar
> > Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear
> > Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent
> > Mature.................. Until you get to know him
> > Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's
> > not interested
> > Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror
> > admiring myself
> > Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall
> > Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother
> > on Easter Sunday
> > Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
> > Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer
> >
> > Well there you have it, truth in advertising!
>
>
>
 
 
 

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