RE off-topic, Mid-week humor

From: SiderWhite (SiderWhite@worldnet.att.net)
Date: Thu Nov 11 1999 - 03:27:15 EET


> STILL THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY?
> THINK AGAIN.
> (From a Florida newspaper)
>
> A man was working on his motorcycle
> on his patio and his wife was in the
>
> house in the kitchen. The man was
> racing the engine on the motorcycle
> and somehow, the motorcycle slipped
> into gear. The man, still holding
> the handlebars, was dragged through a
> glass patio door and, along with
> the motorcycle, dumped onto the floor
> inside the house.
>
> The wife, hearing the crash, ran into
> the dining room and found her
> husband laying on the floor cut and
> bleeding, the motorcycle laying next
>
> to him, and the patio door
> shattered. The wife then ran to the
> phone
> and summoned an ambulance.
>
> Because they lived on a fairly large
> hill, the wife went down the
> several flights of long steps to the
> street to direct the paramedics to
> her husband. After the ambulance
> arrived and transported the husband to
>
> the hospital, the wife uprighted the
> motorcycle, and pushed it outside.
> Seeing that gas had spilled on the
> floor, the wife obtained some paper
> towels, blotted up the gasoline and
> threw the towels in the toilet.
>
> The husband was treated at the
> hospital and was released to come home.
> After arriving home, he looked at the
> shattered patio door and the
> damage done to his motorcycle. He
> became despondent, went into the
> bathroom, sat on the toilet and
> smoked a cigarette. After finishing the
>
> cigarette, he flipped it between his
> legs into the toilet bowl while
> still seated.
>
> The wife, who was in the kitchen,
> heard a loud explosion, and her
> husband screaming. She ran into the
> bathroom and found her husband
> lying on the floor. His trousers had
> been blown away and he was
> suffering burns on the buttocks, the
> back of his legs and his groin.
> The wife again ran to the phone and
> called for an ambulance. The same
> ambulance crew was dispatched and the
> wife met them at the street.
>
> The paramedics loaded the husband on
> the stretcher and began carrying
> him to the street. While they were
> going down the stairs accompanied by
>
> the wife, one of the paramedics asked
> the wife how the husband had
> burned himself. She told them and
> the paramedics started laughing so
> hard, one of them tipped the
> stretcher and dumped the husband out.
> He
> fell down the remaining steps and
> broke his arm.
>
> Now THAT is a bad day . . .
>
>
> ***********************************************************************
>
> Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not
> Heard At Work . . .
>
> 17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"
> ... But there is in "management
> kiss-up".
>
> 16) If you do a good job and work
> hard, you may get a job with a better
>
> company someday.
>
> 15) The light at the end of the
> tunnel has been turned off due to
> budget cuts.
>
> 14) Doing a job RIGHT the first time
> gets the job done. Doing the job
> WRONG 14 times gives you job
> security.
>
> 13) If you think we're a bad
> company, you should see the competition.
>
> 12) Rome did not create a great
> empire by having meetings ... they did
> it by killing all those who oppose
> them.
>
> 11) We put the "k" in "kwality".
>
> 10) 2 days without a human rights
> violation.
>
> 9) Your job is STILL better than
> asking "You want fries with that?"
>
> 8) We build great products when we
> feel like it and don't have any
> reason to call in sick.
>
> 7) If at first you don't succeed,
> try management.
>
> 6) Teamwork means never having to
> take all the blame yourself.
>
> 5) The beatings will continue until
> morale improves.
>
> 4) Pride, Commitment, Teamwork.
> Words we use to get you to work for
> free.
>
> 3) If at first you don't succeed,
> delegate it.
>
> 2) Plagiarism saves time ...
>
> And the #1 Inspirational Message
> Never Heard At Work:
>
> 1) Eagles may soar, but weasels
> don't get sucked into jet engines.
>

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