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If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus
yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk
curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and
use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its
dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with
your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace
your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your
current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous
to your Visa card.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up
and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It
will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill
your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and
terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.
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Yakov Horenstein
Milano, Italy
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.2 : Tue Jun 05 2001 - 22:40:23 EEST