THE CASTAWAY ENGINEER
>
>A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the
>Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life. Just
>as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge
>ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately
>hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.
>
>Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts,
>there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under
>same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman
>in a small rowboat appeared.
>
>"I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise
>ship, too?"
>
>"Yes, I was, " he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?"
>
>"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced
>gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus
>tree."
>
>"But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
>
>"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side
>of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in
>my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got
>the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living
>all this time?
>I don't see any shelter."
>
>"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
>
>"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The engineer nodded
>dumbly.
>
>She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the
>boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back
>splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a palm
>tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
>
>"It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down please;
>would you like to have a drink?"
>
>"No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!"
>
>"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out
>back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas."
>
>Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down
>on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked,
>"Tell me, have you always had a beard?"
>
>"No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up
>on this island."
>
>"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom
>cabinet."
>
>The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and
>shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he
>showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to
>get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't
>help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.
>
>"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into
>something more comfortable."
>
>As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time,
>the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown
>fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
>
>"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with
>no companionship. You know what I mean. Haven't you been lonely,
>too...isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something that
>all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right
>now!"
>
>"Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is
>something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it
>was just...well, it was impossible." "Well, it's not impossible any more,"
>the woman said.
>
>The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean .
>. . .
>
>. . . . . .you actually figured out some way we can CHECK OUR EMAIL
>HERE!!??!!"
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Opinions, suggestions, and other controversial matter VOID where prohibited.
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Elaine T. Hunt, Director
Clemson University Laboratory to Advance Industrial Prototyping
206 Fluor Daniel Bldg. Clemson, SC 29643-0925
864-656-0321 (voice) 864-656-4435 (fax)
elaine.hunt@ces.clemson.edu
http://chip.eng.clemson.edu/rp/persall/elaine.html
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